Life is hard...

Having been in the Social Care field for around 10 years now, there have many service users which I've grown close too. In my opinion working with vulnerable people in a detached way is a myth. There really is no way of not liking them and staying emotionally healthy..... Moreover, one could say that it's the human condition to connect, but to most of us, doing so with someone more needy than us comes all the more easily.

So why do I write this? Simply because I've lost two people who where very close to me . And in essence I feel grief and loss, whatever that means exactly. But while I write this, one is reminded that, to grieve, means the lose of something which meant alot, something one delighted in and made life just that little bit better. I feel sad because I enjoyed their simplistic approach to life, things were what they were, no complications and no pretense. And their funny little habits could only make me laugh.

But the reality is, they are gone, and life must go on....

With only a 50 % win record one could be forgiven for wanting a little more from their team... However,I find myself more optimistic than normal about the state of English Rugby. And if one were to ask why, it's because this series has marked the move away from the conservative forward driven game we've become so entrenched in since the 2003 World Cup. Even with the sparse amount possession we had today, there was a real desire to run and find spaces as opposed to just safety first. And as a long suffering England supporter it brought me great joy, even if against South Africa they were few and far between. But who can forget the sheer poetry of the running rugby we played against Australia, which was the most enjoyable England game I've seen for 7 years.

But with the above in mind, I think I would much rather see us lose a few six nations games in the name of endeavour instead of us relying on one dimensional forward power. Because the essence of growth is when one falls down in pursuit of the new,exciting and more effective, because it's the only arena where we really learn.

Shawshank Redemption!

It's been a little over 14 years since I went to the Cinema to see a little known film called the Shawshank Redemption, and in a relatively empty theatre I was captivated like never before. And as an avid film watcher, I yearn for that experience again to no avail, even though some have come close...

But last night I decided to sit and watch it again (which is now well into double figures), and the film still doesn't fail to make an impression on me. Partly because of the theme of Redemption, something we all look for in its different forms.

But what I find from the film is the notion of Redemption from the darkest of times, with the metaphor of prison symbolising that the circumstances of life can seem to trap us, if we let ourselves think that way. But just like Andy Dufrane who never lost what was within, even faced with a corrupt warden, brutal guards, sexually deviant prisoners and a false conviction in his life space. We as Christians can hold onto an eschatological hope in light of an unjust world, where we are just as prone to hardship as anyone else.

Now I don't think that Frank Darabount had the above in mind (he might even be an Atheist),,, But the film still resonates with the Christian paradigm of Redemption, whether this was intentional or not.

Thinking Christianity...

There is nothing which saddens me more than those who refuse to engage cognitively with their Christian faith... And as much as it pains me to say, the master of the overstatement, Richard Dawkins, has a point about some Christians when he states that faith means abandoning any form of reason.

Of course this isn't true of all Christians, but it has been my experience over the last couple months. Having suggested that we change our approach to study, I have been met with what can only be called narrow responses, ranging from that's how people in the group need it, and also how I need to behave.. As a result, what I'm faced with is an autocratic approach with no room for maneuver, and subsequently has an infantilizing effect on those who attend, judging by the latter response.

Going back to the former, the question is does it have to be that way?

I would suggest that it's only if one is out to eliminate all uncertainty from their Christian walk.....Which in turn means adopting a rather distorted view of what faith is..
In short, faith by its very nature is not to be spoon fed answers to the great metaphysical questions, neither is it living with complete certainty. Instead, authentic faith has doubt and uncertainty as companions, and evidently evolves through that process...

However, I really don't claim to be above anyone or approach, and I hope it doesn't seem that way... Instead I'm looking for a faith which interacts with the environment I live in...and engages with the challenges a secular world brings us.

As much as I like big sporting occasions like the World Cup, and all the countries it brings together.... I couldn't help noticing the profit FIFA will be making from the tournament, which is in the region of 2.2 Billion pounds. And soon after we were given the qualifying statement that this vast amount will be invested into grass roots football.

At first glance, this seems like a reasonable statement... but with any knowledge of the sheer poverty in South Africa, one must feel that there is something inherently wrong. A clear case of ignoring the obvious, which reminds me of the indignant feeling I get when I hear the charge of poverty being levelled at God. It goes without saying that poverty always has, and always will be mainly down to human greed, an inward focus that completely ignores its immediate surroundings

What would Jesus do?

This statement has been the subject of some rather corny Christian merchandise over the years, but the concept itself gives one scope for theological reflection in any circumstance. And because I'm writing regarding myself, It's my work situation which immediately springs to mind.

In short, I find myself bearing the brunt for things which initially had nothing to do with me, and as a result there seems to be a complete abdication of responsibly of those around me. I have a stream of complaints about me, which, if they had come directly, could of been rectified rather quickly. But the reality of the situation is that I had to learn the job myself, and guess what the right thing was to do. One could only feel a sense of bemusement and more importantly feel extremely let down when one was only told every six weeks the shortcomings of one's work. And because of the anonymous nature of most of the complaints, the only channels of enquiry open to me in terms of the specifics of them (what session?, in what way?, how could can I improve?) was supervision. Unfortunately the response of I got ranged from complete silence to what seemed like a rather aside comment about how 'some people cannot put their names to complaints'. And while this maybe true, it puts the complainer in a rather unequal position of power, also, great assumptions have to be made about their intentions.

There are many terms I could use to describe the above, such as toxic, dysfunctional and backwards, but the most figural emotion is that of injustice.And this is where one needs to apply their original question, what would Jesus do in the face of injustice? Perhaps the question can be more adequetly phrased like: 'what has Jesus done about injustice'. We lose sight of the fact that the atonement is the most unjust action we have ever seen, with Jesus taking the punishment which he didn't deserve and people like us gaining something we could never earn (unmerited favour)..... And as much as I find my situation hard, I must keep perspective about this situation in terms of the grand scheme of things..and know that injustice has gone before me, and given me life.

Lost! (Indeed)

After six years and many twist and turns, we have now come to the end of Lost. And I have to say that it took some 'staying with', but it was all worth it!I remember watching the pilot episode and thinking that it would just be a run of the mill 'stuck on a desert Island' program, and that was still OK with me. However, we where soon to see that the Island had so much more, ranging from Smoke Monsters, Polar Bears, a Dangerous Tribe and Magnetic Fields. Also, and even more interestingly for me there was a number of people from diverse backgrounds, who all had their own history which had moulded and shaped them into the people they were (soon to be followed by flash forwards and sideways).

Of course there are a number of themes which one can glean from the series, particularly the notion of fate. But what I liked most was the dynamic of community, and how their external environment (the need to survive, dangers etc) influenced the collective. And this subsequently highlighted the inwards focus of human nature when everything is taken away..... and it's only when we have a community which is based on something beyond ourselves can there be true altruism, or a higher ethic which can only come from something way beyond our own human moral standards. A community marked by a higher ethic is one which approaches conflict still looking for what is good in the person they maybe battling with , or the ability to lose out on what they may of wanted in the 'here the now'. In short, it becomes a community which in its centre becomes counter cultural, and in some ways attractive.

And in true Lost fashion, we can flash sideways and wonder what this new community could be and the effect it could have on our relationships on a micro and macro scale.But perhaps this side of heaven this notion is a little too Utopian. But for me, the hope still remains, that someday a community along these lines would come about..

The work place

There is nothing like trying to navigate work place relationships, they seem to be the most complex of all, and everything you do and say seems to have far reaching consequences. And what adds to this is that:

• People's self esteem (including mine) is closely attached to what they do at work, so if you even begin to disagree with what they are doing, you are personally attacking them.
• At times, it seems integral to fight for the smallest of advantages, to gain that rather meaningless (in the grander scale of things) feeling of importance....Which incidentally is so transient that new and improved power games have to be played, just to keep any semblance of worth.

However, I write this knowing for well that my own work place limitations play a part in causing conflicts, particularly because all relationships are co-created. But isn't the essence of any sort of relationship communication? Particularly having those difficult discussions which bring a sense of newness...... And it's this fundamental thing which is missing in my work situation at the moment.....

The Ressurection

Lately I've become an avid reader of NT Wright, and have found his Theology very lively and stimulating. But what I've really learned to appreciate as a result his writings is the importance of the resurrection. And rightly so,the apostle Paul told the Corinthian church that: 'if Christ has not be raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith' (1 Corinthians 15:14). Peter abhors his readers to: 'Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ!In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead'. (1 Peter 1:3). Just two verses which emphasise the history changing moment of the Resurrection.

So, in this time of lent, how does the Resurrection effect my life?

For me, the Resurrection is when God made the ultimate intervention in time and space, where we are left in a state of eschatology of the beginning of a new creation, but not quite fulfilled (almost, but not yet). And Wright points out that the culmination of this new creation is not just the 'going to heaven when we die', but the promise of 'heaven on earth' (Revelation 21). And it's
this assurance which shines like a bright beacon on a hill, and its radiance effects our 'here and now', particularly in terms of virtue and hope. Because virtue comes as a result of a life lived in relationship, which in turn brings about a transformation of character, and the hope of a heaven on earth where all tears will be wiped away......

Grace and Law

The story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1-11) never ceases to grab my attention. And even though we cannot be sure it was in the original manuscript, it most definitely gives us an indication of the character of Jesus.

And taking a closer look can uncover some interesting insights:

The scribes brought only the woman to see Jesus, when the Mosiac law they are referring too ( Deuteronomy 22.22) applies to both the perpetrators. So with the absence of the man, there are two things one could say about their intentions. Firstly, they had little to no regard for the humanity of the woman, and they were simply using her to set a trap for Jesus. He stood on the precipise of either negating the Law of Moses, or the Roman Law, in the mind of the scribes.

As with the story, faced with such an explosive situation, Jesus bent down to write in the sand, which incidentally was very common for teachers of that time. And while there is much conjecture about what he wrote, I would like to think that Jesus was also indignant towards the treatment of the woman, and the lack value for her very existence and being. And when he arose, he was to say the most levelling statement one could ever think of; 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone'.

Gradually, those who had stood in Judgement of the woman, and sought to trap Jesus began to disperse, with their own sense of righteousness in tatters. And it's then that Jesus addresses the woman, and sends her away to 'leave her life of sin'.

Firstly, let me say what this story is not communicating, which is promoting a sense of moral autonomy. But neither is it advocating strict adherence to the law (or in the scribes case,the Torah) . Both of these extremes are missing the point. Jesus gave the woman an opportunity to 'live a different way' when he said sin no more. He offered an approach to life which was no longer inward looking (which I think is the definition of sin), but instead revolved around the kingdom, where Jesus was soon to die as an atoning death.

For me, this describes the mind blowing notion of forgiveness because of Grace, and it's what truly keeps me being a Christian.

Looking for something more

There are a number of things which come to mind at the beginning of this new year, and I have discussed them in other parts of this blog. However, if I'm honest I hope that this year is better than the last, and things won't be so hard. But perhaps to think like this is to miss the point, and to forget that there is something more to the Christian life, apart from our own circumstances.
Maybe this year is an opportunity to find faith, hope and love which transcends my own situation. And this may not change how difficult life is, but can give me a new perspective on it.
Faith gives me the opportunity navigate my way through the most uncertain of circumstances , with a confidence in God's purposes for me. Hope comes from the Resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, both in the 'here and now' and the future (See NT Wright- Surprised by Hope). And finally Love, which comes from God, and drives out all fear (1 John 4:18).